Sunday, June 26, 2011

Sunday 6-26-2011

People often ask me "How?".  How do I do 'this' with my life?  How do I make 'this' choice in my life.  How 'do' I????  This is a question that no one can answer, except you.  People ask this question because they don't have the 'power' within themselves to control an aspect of their life.

Depending on other people as a first step to solving issues in your life, is a recipe for failure.  If you have something happening in your life you don't like, the first step is to think about how you want to change it.  Then, you start to plan your way out of the situation.  During the planning phase it can be advantageous to seek support for this plan.  Be sure you have some sort of idea or plan before reaching out to others.  The importance of all this is simple; if you have some semblance of a plan or idea, any ideas you receive from someone else will accentuate your plan.  If you have no plan before you express your issues to another person, you may adopt their ideas as your own - this reduces your chances for success.  To have long term success you need to own your plan for change.

One major obstacle to answering the question 'How?', is being comfortable with the current situation.  Let's use a couple being together for a length of time as an example.  You have to ask yourself; "am I with them because I love them? or is it because I'm used to being with them?".  This can be a very tough question to answer.  A simple way to answer is, ask yourself "can I see myself without them?".  This example can be used for any aspect of your life.  Ask yourself "Do you really need 'IT' or are you just used to 'IT'?.  You need to get that answered before moving forward.  If not, you won't be able to answer "How do I?".

When something is bothering you in your life, always own the responsibility of resolution.  Even if you ask for help, make sure it's objective advice you're getting.  Also, don't get bogged down with trying to predict all the possible results of your actions.  This can sometimes get you stuck in the quicksand of non movement on the issue.  Remember, there's 'something' you want changed in your life; if you don't change it, you will stress about the 'something' continuously.

If you struggle with change, you must embrace planning as a way to get around your struggle with change...  You will then be able to answer or start the answering process on your own...

until the next one...