Friday, August 6, 2010

Relationships Day 1

Often I find myself talking with people about issues in their relationships.  So I decided to start a blog...

I believe to have a successful relationship, there are a few things you need to know.

1. What do you really want in this or any relationship?
2. What are you willing to sacrifice? (if anything)
3. What constitutes a good relationship in your mind?
4. Are you willing and able to give 100%? (This is a tricky one)
5. What have you learned from previous relationships?

Let's focus on #1 for today's blog

There are many different types of relationships: dating, family, friends, co-workers, and yourself. Dating is the type of relationship we will discuss.  As we move forward, this will also transcend to marriage.
Often I hear people complaining about the negative parts of their dating life or relationship.  Ironically enough these relationships start out with an over abundance of positive conversation.  "My guy is the greatest thing since sliced bread!" "My girl is the light of my life".  Followed by, "I hate him!", "She's annoying".
So how did we get here??
We didn't ask ourselves or our new partner, question #1.
If you're going into any dating relationship, you should know beforehand the answer to that question.
Otherwise you have already at, step one, set yourself up for failure.

Now I'm not saying you need to know from day one you will marry this person.  What I am saying is you should know from day one whether you want to get married, etc.  Self awareness is a very important component of daily life; Even more so in relationships. If you go into a dating relationship and you have no idea what you want for yourself, you will find yourself in yet another failed relationship; therefore, for optimum chance of success, 1st get right in your own head.
If by chance you have done this, next step is to have an open and honest conversation with your mate.
Again, this isn't 1st date tell me where we are going stuff... however this conversation should happen before the "love" word pops out of either of your mouths.

Now people may frown at what I'm saying, thinking it's too much too soon.
I will caution you that, the normal course of action people follow has produced very poor results.  High divorce rates are common place now.  Why is that?  People continue to repeat mistakes of past failed relationships.

The number one thing you should do before entering any relationship is...understand who you are and what makes you the happiest, when sharing your life with someone.

Ask yourself are you happy?  If you say yes, then list the reasons why you’re happy.  If no, then list the reasons why not.  Having conversations with yourself is a great way to understand who you are.  People believe they are what others tell them they are.  This is a Cardinal rule breaker!  Control your life, don't let life happen to you...

Please post questions, comments to this blog

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Until the next blog....


Mr. P36