Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Wednesday 6-29-2011

Today is all about, holding your head high.  We face opposition from people everyday.  How do you use this opposition to create a positive outcome?  It's easy to complain about the 'opposing people' in your life.  It's empowering to take that negative opposition and turn it into positive success. When faced with seemingly insurmountable barriers, we need to find ways to succeed.  Let their opposition; be your motivation, to challenge yourself to be the best you can be..... and remember even opposing forces teach us things about ourselves and the world we live in... don't dismiss the opposition wholly, because of the party from which it comes.... Always be you, yet respect the views of other people....

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Tuesday 6-28-2011

Inspiration comes from many different sources.  People watch people, so live your life the way you want.  The things you do in life may inspire greatness in other people.  The things you say may also inspire greatness in other people.  Simply being 'WHO' you are may inspire people.  It's a gratifying feeling when someone is inspired by something you have done or said.  Sometimes we can't put a finger on exactly what inspires us about the people we come in contact with.  The important fact is, 'WE', were inspired.  The question may not be; who inspires you, the question may be who are you inspiring..... by simply being 'YOU'???.....  So when you feel like you need inspiration.... keep in mind there are people in your life that are inspired by you .....

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Sunday 6-26-2011

People often ask me "How?".  How do I do 'this' with my life?  How do I make 'this' choice in my life.  How 'do' I????  This is a question that no one can answer, except you.  People ask this question because they don't have the 'power' within themselves to control an aspect of their life.

Depending on other people as a first step to solving issues in your life, is a recipe for failure.  If you have something happening in your life you don't like, the first step is to think about how you want to change it.  Then, you start to plan your way out of the situation.  During the planning phase it can be advantageous to seek support for this plan.  Be sure you have some sort of idea or plan before reaching out to others.  The importance of all this is simple; if you have some semblance of a plan or idea, any ideas you receive from someone else will accentuate your plan.  If you have no plan before you express your issues to another person, you may adopt their ideas as your own - this reduces your chances for success.  To have long term success you need to own your plan for change.

One major obstacle to answering the question 'How?', is being comfortable with the current situation.  Let's use a couple being together for a length of time as an example.  You have to ask yourself; "am I with them because I love them? or is it because I'm used to being with them?".  This can be a very tough question to answer.  A simple way to answer is, ask yourself "can I see myself without them?".  This example can be used for any aspect of your life.  Ask yourself "Do you really need 'IT' or are you just used to 'IT'?.  You need to get that answered before moving forward.  If not, you won't be able to answer "How do I?".

When something is bothering you in your life, always own the responsibility of resolution.  Even if you ask for help, make sure it's objective advice you're getting.  Also, don't get bogged down with trying to predict all the possible results of your actions.  This can sometimes get you stuck in the quicksand of non movement on the issue.  Remember, there's 'something' you want changed in your life; if you don't change it, you will stress about the 'something' continuously.

If you struggle with change, you must embrace planning as a way to get around your struggle with change...  You will then be able to answer or start the answering process on your own...

until the next one...


Saturday, June 25, 2011

Saturday 6-25-2011

Happy Saturday peeps!  If u r living ur life as someone expects u to and that someone is not u... u aren't living.  Always do what u want, when u want, and/or how u want.  People will always question/judge ur actions....remember it's ur life....when the time comes u WILL die alone...and so will the detractors in ur life...  Every move u make in life should be exactly what u want...regardless of the result... Fail or Succeed on ur own terms... Stop giving ur power of 'choice' away to other people.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Friday 6-24-2011

As you go about your travels this Fabulous Friday, make sure you smile at all you encounter.  Say hi to these people you come in contact with.  Say hi by name if you know their name.  Remember the sweetest sound to anyone is their own name.  Be genuine in this endeavor today.  You just may make someone's day! That someone may only be you, but, so what.  Happy Friday all!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Thursday 6-23-2011

In life we all face challenges on a daily basis.  You should always challenge yourself more than anyone or anything can challenge you.  This helps reduce stress in your life.  Stress is derived from worrying about things you can't control and not controlling the things you can.  Take a moment today, to write down some things that are stressing you out.  Then put them in 2 categories, 'What I can' or 'What I can't'.  The items in, 'What I can't', cross them out.  These items are irrelevant in your life, because, you CAN'T control them.  The items in, 'What I can', now need plans associated with them.  These can be a written plans, for long term issues that require long term planning.  These can also be mental notes; to start handling easy issues you know, you need to.  It's always easier to think about other people's issues, than to deal with your own.  Control the things you can, forget the rest.  When you challenge yourself more than other people challenge you, life is a breeze.....

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Wednesday 6-22-2011

What are the issues in your life, that you need to get up and over on this fine hump day?  Do you have a plan to conquer the things that hold you back from your goals?  Today is as good a day as any to start planning your successes.  Stop saying you want better, make it so!  Don't be afraid to fail, instead look forward to success.  Life is as hard as you make it.  Complaining, without a plan to change the circumstance is wasted energy.  Take control of your situation and steer it in the direction you desire.... no one will do this for you...  Remember it's "YOUR" life... who has the biggest stake in your success???  YOU!  Happy Wednesday...Now Go Get'm!!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Tuesday 6-21-2011

Happy Tasty Tuesday people! Are you eating up life? or still looking at the menu, asking for help to make a decision?  Don't give your power of choice to other people.  You must take hold of your life and do what makes you happy.  People will disagree with you, try to hurt you and just not like you.  This is life, don't let them sway you from your desires. Time isn't on ur side.  Every moment you waste not living to your fullest, is a moment you will never get back.  Be decisive in your choices, go with your 1st thought.....Pass or Fail...  The point is, you did it your way!  This is your life...Go out there and eat it up!

Monday, June 20, 2011

Monday 6-20-2011

Happy Monday everyone!  Hopefully everyone had a good weekend.  Today is the start of a new work week for most of us, make sure you seize this awesome opportunity.  Let go of the weekend and embrace this new day and week.  Every second you waste wishing the 'past' weekend was longer, is another second lost to living today.  Cherish the past, embrace the present, and plan for the future!  When you are out and about today thank a stranger for entering your life today.... it just may make their day!  Giddy Up!

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Who am I?

Self awareness is an interesting concept.  Many people much smarter than myself have varying views on this topic, the following is just an average guys opinion.

I will start with a story about a child being picked on for being slightly overweight.  I was having a conversation with a woman and she was telling me a story about her daughter being picked on.  She said "This girl was calling her daughter FAT during lunch period".  She was visibly upset with this little girl.  She called the little girl picking on her daughter, 'rude'.  I asked her, "was her daughter overweight?".  She replied "yes, but, you don't say that to someone!".

We all have said or heard the phrase, "The truth hurts".  Do you know why the 'truth' hurts?  It hurts because most people are in denial about many facets of their life; they don't understand what self awareness is all about.  When you are self aware, there's very little a person can say to you or about you, that will ever bother you.  Why is this, you may ask?  Being self aware, before the person says 'it' to you, you accept 'it' as being who you are.  In other words if you are fat, you know you are fat, you are comfortable with it or are doing something about it. If someone calls you fat, it doesn't bother you nor should it.

People tend to 'know' they are 'X', but the issue is they haven't fully accepted it. They are desperately looking for others to say, "No you're not fat, you're BIG boned", or some other compliment that isn't warranted.  We like to be lied to, because it allows us to circumvent our accountability to face and deal with the truth.  A truth, the majority of the time, we already know but don't want to accept.  This cycle of,  'head in the sand' syndrome, is taught to us at a very young age.  This notion that being direct and honest is rude, is directly responsible for so many people being incapable of accepting the realities of life.

Something someone says to you about you, should never be something you don't already know and embrace.  Thus, removing the angst people have when someone says something to them which society deems 'rude'.  We must dare to explore who we really are.  We must stop hiding from ourselves and embrace the good and bad of our being.

Spend less time judging other people.   Spend more time judging and attempting to understand yourself.  Know, embrace, and be comfortable with who you are better than anyone else can......

Being self aware makes life tremendously less stressful when dealing with others' opinions of you....Self awareness is an integral component in high self esteem..."sticks and stones..."

Until the next one....


Saturday, June 18, 2011

So we used to be together right?

In our world people are faced with the reality that relationships fail more than we would hope for.  What people don't get is that it takes two people to cause a relationship to end.  This is a very important point to understand.

When talking to many people about their relationships past, present, and potential future, there's a common theme; that theme is generally one of two things, "It's all their fault" or "I've tried my best".  The real fact is it takes two people to make a relationship sustain or fail.  The hardest thing for anyone to do is to openly admit their culpability in a failed venture.  No one wants to be a failure, this is ingrained in all of us - from the most confident, to the least confident person.

The importance of understanding past relationships and your part in it, is to help future relationships flourish.  Relationships end; that is a fact of life, whether you like it or not.  If you are blind to your accountability for the troubles in past relationships, you will continue to fail.  Sometimes the biggest error you may have made in a past relationship is 'overlooking' that ah-ha moment where you questioned, is this person for you.  People underestimate this moment and its importance to all actions following this point.  What happens quite often after this moment is people begin to 'hide' their feelings they now have about this person.  They start to have doubts and in some cases contempt for this person.  The error isn't the feelings, the error is in suppressing these feelings.  The fact is you can't suppress this, it will manifest itself in many actions going forward in the relationship.

We are always told "He/She is a good person", "Don't let this one thing change your mind about them".  The problem is once you have that feeling, it's just a matter of time before the relationship will end.  It may take many years or a few moments, the fact is that it will end; we don't ever get over these feelings.  We attempt to rationalize and/or put out of our minds these feelings.  These are all important points to think about  because they will help you when entering new relationships.

The biggest thing to understand is we must not look for flaws in the people we engage in relationships with.  However, we must recognize when we have that negative ah-ha moment and make the proper decision going forward.

So that we are clear, we aren't talking about the everyday things our partners do that we may or may not like.  We are talking about that 'SPECIAL' situation when something rocks your core negatively, that they did or said....Look back on your past relationships and you all will know what I'm talking about.....

Until the next one....


Do you understand me?

During our busy days we come across those who would seem to not understand us.  Is this because these people can care less about our feelings, thoughts, or ideas? Is it because we are expressing our being in a way that isn't easily interpreted?  It may be these or many other reasons, which aren't easily discerned.

The real fact of the matter is; most people you come in contact with, can care less.  This, in most cast cases, doesn't carry a negative connotation, it simply means they have enough issues within their own being, and have no time to worry about your stuff.  This is unfortunately the reality with which we live.  Understanding this helps reduce or eliminate the time you spend angry when someone shows disdain toward you. If you really think about it, why should your point be more important to them than their point?

When you are communicating to another person, are you still open to all views?  This doesn't mean you need to agree with the views; being open to all views of the subject of conversation allows you to be objective.  The point here is, if you are objective you will handle opposition with less angst.  When engaged in debate, to be sympathetic to another person's feelings, thoughts, or ideas, doesn't give your power away.  This is something we all struggle with, 'Do you understand me?'.  We ask each other that everyday.  We are so busy attempting to get our point across, we blow right by the other person's point.

We make communicating very complicated and hard.  This is because we can't hear with our mouths opened; we are waiting for the other person to be quiet so that we can say what we want to say.  In a lot of cases we don't even wait, we interrupt without malice or forethought. This makes it difficult for your point to be interpreted properly.  People are continually engaged in conversation where neither are "actively" listening to the other.  The 'My point of view' gets in the way of the sharing process.  You then immediately go to the 'Do you understand me?' phase of your thought process.

To get your question 'Do you understand me?' answered, you need to understand the person you are directing your question toward.  The interesting point here is; once you understand this person, you will realize you don't need to ask the question to begin with.  If you seek understanding of the person you are in conflict with, it will give you the tools necessary to effectively present your case to them.

You can communicate the same point many ways to many audiences..... Don't get stuck communicating only one way... eventually no one will understand you

Until the next time....