In our world people are faced with the reality that relationships fail more than we would hope for. What people don't get is that it takes two people to cause a relationship to end. This is a very important point to understand.
When talking to many people about their relationships past, present, and potential future, there's a common theme; that theme is generally one of two things, "It's all their fault" or "I've tried my best". The real fact is it takes two people to make a relationship sustain or fail. The hardest thing for anyone to do is to openly admit their culpability in a failed venture. No one wants to be a failure, this is ingrained in all of us - from the most confident, to the least confident person.
The importance of understanding past relationships and your part in it, is to help future relationships flourish. Relationships end; that is a fact of life, whether you like it or not. If you are blind to your accountability for the troubles in past relationships, you will continue to fail. Sometimes the biggest error you may have made in a past relationship is 'overlooking' that ah-ha moment where you questioned, is this person for you. People underestimate this moment and its importance to all actions following this point. What happens quite often after this moment is people begin to 'hide' their feelings they now have about this person. They start to have doubts and in some cases contempt for this person. The error isn't the feelings, the error is in suppressing these feelings. The fact is you can't suppress this, it will manifest itself in many actions going forward in the relationship.
We are always told "He/She is a good person", "Don't let this one thing change your mind about them". The problem is once you have that feeling, it's just a matter of time before the relationship will end. It may take many years or a few moments, the fact is that it will end; we don't ever get over these feelings. We attempt to rationalize and/or put out of our minds these feelings. These are all important points to think about because they will help you when entering new relationships.
The biggest thing to understand is we must not look for flaws in the people we engage in relationships with. However, we must recognize when we have that negative ah-ha moment and make the proper decision going forward.
So that we are clear, we aren't talking about the everyday things our partners do that we may or may not like. We are talking about that 'SPECIAL' situation when something rocks your core negatively, that they did or said....Look back on your past relationships and you all will know what I'm talking about.....
Until the next one....
MrP36
When talking to many people about their relationships past, present, and potential future, there's a common theme; that theme is generally one of two things, "It's all their fault" or "I've tried my best". The real fact is it takes two people to make a relationship sustain or fail. The hardest thing for anyone to do is to openly admit their culpability in a failed venture. No one wants to be a failure, this is ingrained in all of us - from the most confident, to the least confident person.
We are always told "He/She is a good person", "Don't let this one thing change your mind about them". The problem is once you have that feeling, it's just a matter of time before the relationship will end. It may take many years or a few moments, the fact is that it will end; we don't ever get over these feelings. We attempt to rationalize and/or put out of our minds these feelings. These are all important points to think about because they will help you when entering new relationships.The biggest thing to understand is we must not look for flaws in the people we engage in relationships with. However, we must recognize when we have that negative ah-ha moment and make the proper decision going forward.
So that we are clear, we aren't talking about the everyday things our partners do that we may or may not like. We are talking about that 'SPECIAL' situation when something rocks your core negatively, that they did or said....Look back on your past relationships and you all will know what I'm talking about.....
Until the next one....
MrP36
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