Monday 12-26-2011

As we begin the journey to a new year, start the planning process. In 2011, many of you have seen success and failure. Have you learned from these experiences? Most people haven't learned anything, because they don't understand 'self-awareness'. They continue to blame other people for their failures. Take a relationship that fails for example; so much time is spent on the reasons the other person caused it to not workout. Little time is spent ascertaining your culpability. This lack of personal accountability causes you to repeat the same mistakes in future relationships. This transcends all aspects of life. Focus on where you fail and develop methods for personal improvement. Advice for 2012: Take ownership of your life; don't let things happen to you, MAKE things happen. Don't let a failure slow you down. Successful people embrace failure, because they only look at THEIR part in the failure and develop solutions to be successful in the future. One way or another, you control your existence. Whether you do something or not, your choice is exercised. Your success or failure is 100% your accountability. The moment you give that responsibility to another human, you stop growing.

2012= Increased 'SELF-AWARENESS' - Owned 'Personal Growth' ~©KP

There's another 99%/1% split in this country; people who use their brain and those who don't. Everyone is capable of being totally informed, most choose not to make an effort. The problem is the 1% wealthy citizens recognize this and feed on these opportunities, Capitalism 101. There's nothing wrong with this, it's the American way. You want to fight this? Get informed, make every life decision with as much knowledge as possible. Stop listening to your friends and family who are too lazy to get the real information. This idea transcends all aspects of life. Stop being lazy in thought people, it's really hurting you and this country. A new poll came out saying; President Obama approval rating is going up and Congress approval rating is, low as it was in 1994. Now don't mistake this as an endorsement in Obama; it brings to light the 'TRUE' issue with government. Congress, State, and Local government run this country, not the President. Everyone of you who spend so much energy supporting or condemning the President, are letting the 'real problem' fester. Understand the issue(s) facing you in life. The message here is, 'think' before doing. There's too much 'doing' without thought. <---- We are conditioned our entire lives to do this. Break the cycle...

Happy

There's a reason for every experience you have. The less time you spend asking "Why"; the more time you have to figure out 'how to move forward' - good or bad. People often talk about 'closure'. Don't let the 'need' for closure, stop you from continuing with your life. We all deal with obstacles in life; if you let them, they will consume you. Fact of life: We control an infinitesimal amount of our lives. We often worry about the grand amount we can't control. The happiest people understand how to control that which they can.

Thursday 12-8-2011

Don't let people who are 'non-value add', influence your mood or desire for success. They don't deserve that indulgence. There are 3 facts in your life: 1. You are born alone. 2. You live alone. 3. You will die alone. Don't allow people into your circle of life, who don't help you forget fact #2. Time is the most precious commodity known to man. Don't waste any of it, with the wrong people in your life.

Dating Outside Your Race??

Tuesday 11-1-11

If you spend your life 'LOOKING' for someone or something; you will never live life to it's fullest. Embrace all your experiences and strive to be a better 'YOU'.

Tuesday 10-25-2011

Morning youngins, another Terrific Tuesday to tackle! Help at least one person smile today. If that person isn't you, then you will help two people smile. Everything in your life starts with 'you'. You can't help someone else smile, without smiling first. Don't assume no one else is dealing with obstacles in their life, like you are. We all are dealing with 'stuff'. Let's band together and at least bring a little brightness to the situation. :) When you face an opportunity to be negative today; challenge yourself to see the positive aspect of the situation. Be lighthearted and a little less rigid today. This won't be possible with every situation, however, it will help you get 'past' the tough ones quickly. Giddy Up Biotches!

White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack

White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack

by Peggy McIntosh



I was taught to see racism only in individual acts of meanness, not in invisible systems conferring dominance on my group.



Through work to bring materials from women's studies into the rest of the curriculum, I have often noticed men's unwillingness to grant that they are overprivileged, even though they may grant that women are disadvantaged. They may say they will work to improve women's status, in the society, the university, or the curriculum, but they can't or won't support the idea of lessening men's. Denials that amount to taboos surround the subject of advantages that men gain from women's disadvantages. These denials protect male privilege from being fully acknowledged, lessened, or ended.



Thinking through unacknowledged male privilege as a phenomenon, I realized that, since hierarchies in our society are interlocking, there was most likely a phenomenon of white privilege that was similarly denied and protected. As a white person, I realized I had been taught about racism as something that puts others at a disadvantage, but had been taught not to see one of its corollary aspects, white privilege, which puts me at an advantage.



I think whites are carefully taught not to recognize white privilege, as males are taught not to recognize male privilege. So I have begun in an untutored way to ask what it is like to have white privilege. I have come to see white privilege as an invisible package of unearned assets that I can count on cashing in each day, but about which I was "meant" to remain oblivious. White privilege is like an invisible weightless knapsack of special provisions, maps, passports, codebooks, visas, clothes, tools, and blank checks.



Describing white privilege makes one newly accountable. As we in women's studies work to reveal male privilege and ask men to give up some of their power, so one who writes about having white privilege must ask, "Having described it, what will I do to lessen or end it?"



After I realized the extent to which men work from a base of unacknowledged privilege, I understood that much of their oppressiveness was unconscious. Then I remembered the frequent charges from women of color that white women whom they encounter are oppressive. I began to understand why we are justly seen as oppressive, even when we don't see ourselves that way. I began to count the ways in which I enjoy unearned skin privilege and have been conditioned into oblivion about its existence.



My schooling gave me no training in seeing myself as an oppressor, as an unfairly advantaged person, or as a participant in a damaged culture. I was taught to see myself as an individual whose moral state depended on her individual moral will. My schooling followed the pattern my colleague Elizabeth Minnich has pointed out: whites are taught to think of their lives as morally neutral, normative, and average, and also ideal, so that when we work to benefit others, this is seen as work that will allow "them" to be more like "us."



Daily effects of white privilege



I decided to try to work on myself at least by identifying some of the daily effects of white privilege in my life. I have chosen those conditions that I think in my case attach somewhat more to skin-color privilege than to class, religion, ethnic status, or geographic location, though of course all these other factors are intricately intertwined. As far as I can tell, my African American coworkers, friends, and acquaintances with whom I come into daily or frequent contact in this particular time, place, and line of work cannot count on most of these conditions.
I can, if I wish, arrange to be in the company of people of my race most of the time.
If I should need to move, I can be pretty sure of renting or purchasing housing in an area that I can afford and in which I would want to live.
I can be pretty sure that my neighbors in such a location will be neutral or pleasant to me.
I can go shopping alone most of the time, pretty well assured that I will not be followed or harassed.
I can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of my race widely represented.
When I am told about our national heritage or about "civilization," I am shown that people of my color made it what it is.
I can be sure that my children will be given curricular materials that testify to the existence of their race.
If I want to, I can be pretty sure of finding a publisher for this piece on white privilege.
I can go into a music shop and count on finding the music of my race represented, into a supermarket and find the staple foods that fit with my cultural traditions, into a hairdresser's shop and find someone who can deal with my hair.
Whether I use checks, credit cards, or cash, I can count on my skin color not to work against the appearance of financial reliability.
I can arrange to protect my children most of the time from people who might not like them.
I can swear, or dress in second-hand clothes, or not answer letters without having people attribute these choices to the bad morals, the poverty, or the illiteracy of my race.
I can speak in public to a powerful male group without putting my race on trial.
I can do well in a challenging situation without being called a credit to my race.
I am never asked to speak for all the people of my racial group.
I can remain oblivious of the language and customs of persons of color, who constitute the world's majority, without feeling in my culture any penalty for such oblivion.
I can criticize our government and talk about how much I fear its policies and behavior without being seen as a cultural outsider. 18. I can be pretty sure that if I ask to talk to "the person in charge" I will be facing a person of my race.
If a traffic cop pulls me over, or if the IRS audits my tax return, I can be sure I haven't been singled out because of my race.
I can easily buy posters, postcards, picture books, greeting cards, dolls, toys, and children's magazines featuring people of my race.
I can go home from most meetings of organizations I belong to feeling somewhat tied in rather than isolated, out of place, outnumbered, unheard, held at a distance, or feared.
I can take a job with an affirmative action employer without having coworkers on the job suspect that I got it because of race.
I can choose public accommodation without fearing that people of my race cannot get in or will be mistreated in the places I have chosen.
I can be sure that if I need legal or medical help my race will not work against me.
If my day, week, or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether it has racial overtones.
I can choose blemish cover or bandages in "flesh" color that more or less match my skin.



Elusive and fugitive



I repeatedly forgot each of the realizations on this list until I wrote it down. For me white privilege has turned out to be an elusive and fugitive subject. The pressure to avoid it is great, for in facing it I must give up the myth of meritocracy. If these things are true, this is not such a free country; one's life is not what one makes it; many doors open for certain people through no virtues of their own.



In unpacking this invisible knapsack of white privilege, I have listed conditions of daily experience that I once took for granted. Nor did I think of any of these perquisites as bad for the holder. I now think that we need a more finely differentiated taxonomy of privilege, for some of these varieties are only what one would want for everyone in a just society, and others give license to be ignorant, oblivious, arrogant, and destructive.



I see a pattern running through the matrix of white privilege, a pattern of assumptions that were passed on to me as a white person. There was one main piece of cultural turf; it was my own turf, and I was among those who could control the turf. My skin color was an asset for any more I was educated to want to make. I could think of myself as belonging in major ways and of making social systems work for me. I could freely disparage, fear, neglect, or be oblivious to anything outside of the dominant cultural forms. Being of the main culture, I could also criticize it fairly freely.



In proportion as my racial group was being made confident, comfortable, and oblivious, other groups were likely being made unconfident, uncomfortable, and alienated. Whiteness protected me from many kinds of hostility, distress, and violence, which I was being subtly trained to visit, in turn, upon people of color.



For this reason, the word "privilege" now seems to me misleading. We usually think of privilege as being a favored state, whether earned or conferred by birth or luck. Yet some of the conditions I have described here work systematically to overempower certain groups. Such privilege simply confers dominance because of one's race or sex.



Earned strength, unearned power



I want, then, to distinguish between earned strength and unearned power conferred systemically. Power from unearned privilege can look like strength when it is in fact permission to escape or to dominate. But not all of the privileges on my list are inevitably damaging. Some, like the expectation that neighbors will be decent to you, or that your race will not count against you in court, should be the norm in a just society. others, like the privilege to ignore less powerful people, distort the humanity of the holders as well as the ignored groups.



We might at least start by distinguishing between positive advantages, which we can work to spread, and negative types of advantage, which unless rejected will always reinforce our present hierarchies. For example, the feeling that one belongs within the human circle, as Native Americans say, should not be seen as privilege for a few. Ideally it is an unearned entitlement. At present, since only a few have it, it is an unearned advantage for them. This paper results from a process of coming to see that some of the power that I originally saw as attendant on being a human being in the United States consisted in unearned advantage and conferred dominance.



I have met very few men who are truly distressed about systemic, unearned male advantage and conferred dominance. And so one question for me and others like me is whether we will be like them, or whether we will get truly distressed, even outraged, about unearned race advantage and conferred dominance, and, if so, what we will do to lessen them. In any case, we need to do more work in identifying how they actually affect our daily lives. Many, perhaps most, of our white students in the United States think that racism doesn't affect them because they are not people of color; they do not see "whiteness" as a racial identity. In addition, since race and sex are not the only advantaging systems at work, we need similarly to examine the daily experience of having age advantage, or ethnic advantage, or physical ability, or advantage related to nationality, religion, or sexual orientation.



Difficulties and dangers surrounding the task of finding parallels are many. Since racism, sexism, and heterosexism are not the same, the advantages associated with them should not be seen as the same. In addition, it is hard to disentangle aspects of unearned advantage that rest more on social class, economic class, race, religion, sex, and ethnic identity than on other factors. Still, all of the oppressions are interlocking, as the members of the Combahee River Collective pointed out in their "Black Feminist Statement" of 1977.



One factor seems clear about all of the interlocking oppressions. They take both active forms, which we can see, and embedded forms, which as a member of the dominant group one is taught not to see. In my class and place, I did not see myself as a racist because I was taught to recognize racism only in individual acts of meanness by members of my group, never in invisible systems conferring unsought racial dominance on my group from birth.



Disapproving of the systems won't be enough to change them. I was taught to think that racism could end if white individuals changed their attitudes. But a "white" skin in the United States opens many doors for whites whether or not we approve of the way dominance has been conferred on us. Individual acts can palliate, but cannot end, these problems.



To redesign social systems we need first to acknowledge their colossal unseen dimensions. The silences and denials surrounding privilege are the key political tool here. They keep the thinking about equality or equity incomplete, protecting unearned advantage and conferred dominance by making these subjects taboo. Most talk by whites about equal opportunity seems to me now to be about equal opportunity to try to get into a position of dominance while denying that systems of dominance exist.



It seems to me that obliviousness about white advantage, like obliviousness about male advantage, is kept strongly inculturated in the United States so as to maintain the myth of meritocracy, the myth that democratic choice is equally available to all. Keeping most people unaware that freedom of confident action is there for just a small number of people props up those in power and serves to keep power in the hands of the same groups that have most of it already.



Although systemic change takes many decades, there are pressing questions for me and, I imagine, for some others like me if we raise our daily consciousness on the perquisites of being light-skinned. What will we do with such knowledge? As we know from watching men, it is an open question whether we will choose to use unearned advantage to weaken hidden systems of advantage, and whether we will use any of our arbitrarily awarded power to try to reconstruct power systems on a broader base.



(Peggy McIntosh is associate director of the Wellesley College Center for Research on Women.)

Thursday 10-13-2011

Happy Thirsty Thursday youngins! People spend so much time carrying on about the actions of other people...meanwhile doing nothing about their own issues. Remember people, u can't control other people...u have enuff trouble controlling urself. Live ur life exactly like u want...& let everyone else do the same. Take a BIG swig of life today!! Go out into the world today a confident, self motivated, and 'take control of my life' person! There will always be someone who turns their nose up to u. Someone who 'thinks' they r better than u. Dnt get discouraged, because; unless they r supporting u, they r irrelevant. So let the naysayers spend their day worrying about what u r doing...as u go out and DO IT!

Monday 10-10-2011

It's easy to complain...to give up...to make excuses. It takes courage & strength to plan ...to execute that plan...to take accountability. R u weak or r u strong? People like to talk about what they have to 'endure'. Strong people never talk about dealing with 'life'. It's like the hard worker...people who have to say they work hard..dnt... People who 'DO' things... DO..they dnt talk... If something isn't right in ur life, formulate a plan to change it...it may take time to see ur results...but, u need to stay the course. It's a new day, a new week, and a new opportunity 4 u to shine... Giddy up!

Thursday 10-6-2011

u have all the tools to be/have whatever u want in life... ur biggest obstacle is u. It's sort of like when u hear someone say "I'm pregnant...but I didn't plan on it"....ummm yeah, u did plan on it...when u had sex. The details people...the details... Most people have plenty of grand thoughts/ideas...but dnt think about the seemingly inconsequential DETAILS... If u aren't where u want to be...dnt whine about it...hoping things will change; while doing very little to affect change. Do what's "necessary" to move forward in ur life. Example: "I can't find a better job". What's the value of constantly saying that??? What u need to do is sharpen ur skills, keep applying, or a myriad of other things to make urself more appealing to perspective employers. Wasting energy complaining and whining...makes u lose focus on the prize. Learn from ur failures in life...dnt dwell on them... Dwell on ur goals! Where there is a will, there is a way... some of the most successful people...will tell u they failed many times b4 they made it... what kept them focused, was never giving up on their goal. Never thinking the goal was impossible. Too many people feel where they want to be; is impossible or improbable. Success doesn't always happen fast, so patience is always a virtue. Back to the beginning "ur biggest obstacle is u". Get out of ur own way on this Thirsty Thursday and Drink up life...it's waiting.

Listen

Monday 10-3-2011

What makes a man - 'a man' or a woman - 'a woman'? They dnt 'demand' or 'require' anything from anyone other than themselves. ~KP

Tuesday 9-13-2011

good or bad (situation)... never miss an opportunity to tell the people that mean something to u..EXACTLY what they mean to u. This will make their day, ur day, & u wont regret not telling them...when they r gone. Life can be filled with many obstacles...dnt let these obstacles get in the way of communicating ur feelings towards the 1's that matter...Happy Tuesday

Friday 9-2-2011

Fantabulous Friday peeps! If I can help 1 person smile, laugh, or feel good about themselves every single day; then my purpose on this earth has been fulfilled. Everything else, is jst to pass the time...stay away from the irrelevant...Giddy Up!

Advice

Advice: Giving & Receiving....


Giving advice


We all like to share our opinions on the things going on around us. When someone asks us for advice, we tend to use our experiences and thoughts to help them. The problem with this is we tend to project our beliefs onto the situation at hand. The most important tool we need to utilize when giving advice is; ACTIVE LISTENING. Active listening is a communication technique that requires the listener to understand, interpret, and evaluate what they hear.

It's imperative to make sure you understand the situation from 'their' point of view. Quite often, people give jaded advice to the people seeking help. They project their own 'issues' into a situation requiring objective correspondence; this is a classic mistake that many people make, everyday. The biggest concern with this is the fact that the person you are helping is 'vulnerable'. A vulnerable person needs their internal thoughts strengthened. This can be a slippery slope. It's very important that you seek out what the person truly wants to do.






When giving advice, attempt to stay away from, "This is what you are supposed to do". Telling someone what they need to do does not garner ownership on their part. The person you are helping needs to own the decisions they are making. If this person doesn't own the decision, they won't have long-term success. They also won’t grow through this experience and therefore, will not be capable of handling the same situation in the future, with ease.






The moral of the story is; refrain from giving advice if you aren't good at active listening. Also refrain from giving advice if you lack the ability to offer an objective, 'in their shoes' point of view. Remember it's, 'What they want to do', not 'What you want to do'.

Receiving advice

This is a much simpler experience to understand. You also need to practice active listening. You 'know' exactly what you want to do; the question you are asking yourself is, should I do 'that' or is there a better way. This is important when receiving advice from someone. When listening to the advice someone is giving you, listen to all sides of it. You need to ascertain whether this person is projecting their personal thoughts onto your situation, or whether it's genuine and objective. This can be very difficult in an emotionally high charged situation.






If you are actively listening to the advice, you can pull out the pieces that resonate within you. This is where you begin to see what your true thoughts are. You begin to say internally and externally, "Yes you are right". The key here is whether the 'YES' is confirmation of a thought or understanding of where you need to go now. This can be tricky. What makes it easier to grasp is, knowing from the beginning if the advice you are getting is objective and from your point of view. If you are practicing active listening, you will know this almost immediately. You will know whether this person is 'saying what you want them to' or 'saying what you know to be the truth'.






The most important thing to remember when receiving advice is: Make sure it is about you and your situation at hand. Don't let people project their failures onto your situations....

Remember cr@p in = cr@p out...

Thursday 8-25-2011

always share ur knowledge & experience (informational - not directive) with those that mean something to u...it's entirely up to them whether it's beneficial...@ the very least u will give them additional tools to help them make sound decisions 4 themselves....when faced with the obstacles of life. We all wish someone told us something about a lot of the things we've faced... prior to experiencing these things. Judge less...Support more...Happy Thursday youngins!

R u on the sidelines of ur own life??? Dnt let other people play ur game 4 u...everytime u say u can't do something, is a moment lost to success. There r multi-millionaires who possess only a 5th grade education ....do u know y they made it??? They took control of their destiny...u can do whatever u want in life....if u hate ur job or anything else in ur life...plan ur way out...simply complaining wont solve anything...Happy Monday!

Wednesday 8-17-2011

<---will take "Words to live by, 4 $1000 Alex"...."What r: Support More, Judge Less©?" Remember to always be sincere in ur thoughts, words, and actions...the people who r in ur life may or may not understand or appreciate ur sincerity...that's irrelevant...the important point is, u know it to be genuine...u can only control u...Winner Wednesday is ready 4 the taking...Go Get It!

Thursday 8-11-2011

U never know when u will inspire someone to be the best they can be....by being the best u can be...so do it all the time. Being the best u can be, doesn't always translate into success....we all fail @ something, everyday...if u failed while doing ur best...there's no stress...There's no such thing as u being an innocent bystander in ur life...Thirsty Thursday is here...Enjoy!

Wednesday 8-10-2011

Welcome to Wonderful Wednesday Winners...U must always believe in urself, sometimes u r the only person that will believe in u....Ur belief is the only one that counts anyway...people r living their own lives, they rarely have time to have concern about ur shit...self-awareness & self-motivation r important keys to stress free living....Go get it peeps!

Tuesday 8-9-2011

There's something u can give to other people in abundance and still keep forever...a "SMILE"...give as much as u possibly can today...U never know when ur smile will be the straw that breaks the cycle of discontent someone is enduring...Happy Tuesday superstars!

Monday 8-8-2011

Happy Monday all! Here's ur chance, dnt blow it....Everything starts with believing in urself...no matter what life throws u...u will prevail. U may not be the best or have the best, but, u can always hold ur own...dnt let other people measure ur success, better than u can.... Giddy Up!

Friday 8-5-2011

Happy Friday youngins! Don't let anyone hold you back from your goals today....eyes on the prize! If you dnt have any goals, you have only yourself to blame....work on that. Giddy Up!

Thursday 8-4-2011

Hold urself accountable 4 the things that happen in ur life...when u believe someone is putting up a barrier in ur life path... dnt blame them 4 putting the barrier there...plan ur way around, over, under, or thru the barrier...take control of ur existence...obstacles r a part of life...they won't go away... sitting there complaining about them won't do u a bit of good...Happy Thirsty Thursday peeps, drink up life today!

Wednesday 8-3-2011

Endeavor to be better....

Monday 8-1-2011

The world judges u by the decisions u make… but they never see the options u had to choose from....always make decisions based on what is best 4 u...not by how u think people will view u....it's ur life, get to living it...Happy new DAY/WEEK!

Wednesday 7-27-2011

Don't let fear stop you......

Tuesday 7-26-2011

Happy Tuesday all! Never be intimidated by or envious of what someone else has. Some people like to talk about what they have done in life, only to make you feel less than them.  Some people like to talk about what they have acquired in their travels.  Some people like to explain why the things they have, are better than the things you have.  Whenever I’m engaged in a conversation with one of these people and they start saying; "I have this and I have that, I did this and I did that", all I hear them saying is, "I HAVE LOW SELF-ESTEEM".  I use the example of the people who say they work hard and the people who actually do work hard.  People who work hard never talk about what they do, they just do it.  The people who shout how hard they work, rarely work hard.  The moral of the story is; be about it, don't speak about it.  When you do speak about it, make sure it's informational.  It is a fact we live in a 'class' society, but that doesn't mean we have to embrace it.  Break the cycle; support more and judge less.  The great Marketing Machine would love for us to stay the way we are.  The underlying issue here is self-esteem.  Some people use your low self-esteem against you (marketing, people who want to seem better than you).  Never feel less than anyone else and remember; what they eat don't make you $h1t.....

Thursday 7-21-2011

Life is a lot like driving on the highway. If you drive too fast some people don't like it, they think you are driving too fast...if you drive the speed limit some people don't like it, they think you are driving to slow...if you drive below the speed limit some people don't like it, they think you are going to slow.  The moral of the story is, there's always someone who wont like what you are doing with, "YOUR" life.  As with your car, you are responsible and accountable for your life...live (drive) it your way! Happy Thursday peeps!

Wednesday 7-20-2011

The word of the day is: UNHAPPY... Don't waste time being in or doing something that doesn't make you happy.  If you stay in these situations, you need to blame yourself.  Once you get to the level of 'sustained' unhappiness in a situation, it's up to you to change the situation.  Waiting for the situation to change on its own is a wasted gesture.  I have never heard from or heard of a person that regrets getting themselves out of an unhappy situation.  What I have heard is, "I wish I did it sooner!".  Don't waste your life being unhappy.  The fear people have of the unknown, is very powerful.  Don't let this fear steal precious time from you.  Take control of your existence, before it is to late!  It will be tough, however, you will be better for it.  When you are asked: "Why don't you change this situation?" and your response is "What about this, what about that, it's because of this, it's because of that...etc...", these are all deflections and cop-outs.  What you should really be saying is, "Here's my plan...". Sustained success has a plan.  Sustained failure results from lack of planning.  Happy Wednesday all....

Tuesday 7-19-2011

Happy Tuesday peeps! We all know exactly what we need to do @ all times...the confusion sets in when we try & weigh what we know, with what people tell us to do or want us to do.... stop worrying about how people view u...only u, need to approve ur thoughts and actions. Make sure any advice u r getting is objective & not a projection of the ideals of the person advising u....

Wednesday 7-13-2011

Today should be the most important day of your life.  Each moment you are alive is all that you have. Don't take one moment for granted, as you travel through life.  You never know when it will be your last moment.  People often ask me how I stay so even tempered.  The answer is quite simple; I never allow any moment to be more important than the current moment of time.  People tend to dwell on the past or be obsessed with the future.  These missteps cause the present to be overlooked and add stress to the equation.  Stress is best described as focusing on something you can't control.  You can't control your past or future, you can control your present.  A wise person; learns from their past, plans their future, and use both to shape their present.  Happy Wednesday everyone!

Tuesday 7-12-2011

In life, every 1 of us is dealing with different kinds of problems. Life is about solving your own problems; not about blaming other people for them or comparing your struggles to those of people you may know... also, don't waste energy worrying about what people think about the issues you have. Worrying about how people view you, clouds your judgment....Happy Tuesday :)

Wednesday 6-29-2011

Today is all about, holding your head high.  We face opposition from people everyday.  How do you use this opposition to create a positive outcome?  It's easy to complain about the 'opposing people' in your life.  It's empowering to take that negative opposition and turn it into positive success. When faced with seemingly insurmountable barriers, we need to find ways to succeed.  Let their opposition; be your motivation, to challenge yourself to be the best you can be..... and remember even opposing forces teach us things about ourselves and the world we live in... don't dismiss the opposition wholly, because of the party from which it comes.... Always be you, yet respect the views of other people....

Tuesday 6-28-2011

Inspiration comes from many different sources.  People watch people, so live your life the way you want.  The things you do in life may inspire greatness in other people.  The things you say may also inspire greatness in other people.  Simply being 'WHO' you are may inspire people.  It's a gratifying feeling when someone is inspired by something you have done or said.  Sometimes we can't put a finger on exactly what inspires us about the people we come in contact with.  The important fact is, 'WE', were inspired.  The question may not be; who inspires you, the question may be who are you inspiring..... by simply being 'YOU'???.....  So when you feel like you need inspiration.... keep in mind there are people in your life that are inspired by you .....

Sunday 6-26-2011

People often ask me "How?".  How do I do 'this' with my life?  How do I make 'this' choice in my life.  How 'do' I????  This is a question that no one can answer, except you.  People ask this question because they don't have the 'power' within themselves to control an aspect of their life.

Depending on other people as a first step to solving issues in your life, is a recipe for failure.  If you have something happening in your life you don't like, the first step is to think about how you want to change it.  Then, you start to plan your way out of the situation.  During the planning phase it can be advantageous to seek support for this plan.  Be sure you have some sort of idea or plan before reaching out to others.  The importance of all this is simple; if you have some semblance of a plan or idea, any ideas you receive from someone else will accentuate your plan.  If you have no plan before you express your issues to another person, you may adopt their ideas as your own - this reduces your chances for success.  To have long term success you need to own your plan for change.

One major obstacle to answering the question 'How?', is being comfortable with the current situation.  Let's use a couple being together for a length of time as an example.  You have to ask yourself; "am I with them because I love them? or is it because I'm used to being with them?".  This can be a very tough question to answer.  A simple way to answer is, ask yourself "can I see myself without them?".  This example can be used for any aspect of your life.  Ask yourself "Do you really need 'IT' or are you just used to 'IT'?.  You need to get that answered before moving forward.  If not, you won't be able to answer "How do I?".

When something is bothering you in your life, always own the responsibility of resolution.  Even if you ask for help, make sure it's objective advice you're getting.  Also, don't get bogged down with trying to predict all the possible results of your actions.  This can sometimes get you stuck in the quicksand of non movement on the issue.  Remember, there's 'something' you want changed in your life; if you don't change it, you will stress about the 'something' continuously.

If you struggle with change, you must embrace planning as a way to get around your struggle with change...  You will then be able to answer or start the answering process on your own...


















until the next one...




MrP36

Saturday 6-25-2011

Happy Saturday peeps!  If u r living ur life as someone expects u to and that someone is not u... u aren't living.  Always do what u want, when u want, and/or how u want.  People will always question/judge ur actions....remember it's ur life....when the time comes u WILL die alone...and so will the detractors in ur life...  Every move u make in life should be exactly what u want...regardless of the result... Fail or Succeed on ur own terms... Stop giving ur power of 'choice' away to other people.

Friday 6-24-2011

As you go about your travels this Fabulous Friday, make sure you smile at all you encounter.  Say hi to these people you come in contact with.  Say hi by name if you know their name.  Remember the sweetest sound to anyone is their own name.  Be genuine in this endeavor today.  You just may make someone's day! That someone may only be you, but, so what.  Happy Friday all!

Thursday 6-23-2011

In life we all face challenges on a daily basis.  You should always challenge yourself more than anyone or anything can challenge you.  This helps reduce stress in your life.  Stress is derived from worrying about things you can't control and not controlling the things you can.  Take a moment today, to write down some things that are stressing you out.  Then put them in 2 categories, 'What I can' or 'What I can't'.  The items in, 'What I can't', cross them out.  These items are irrelevant in your life, because, you CAN'T control them.  The items in, 'What I can', now need plans associated with them.  These can be a written plans, for long term issues that require long term planning.  These can also be mental notes; to start handling easy issues you know, you need to.  It's always easier to think about other people's issues, than to deal with your own.  Control the things you can, forget the rest.  When you challenge yourself more than other people challenge you, life is a breeze.....

Wednesday 6-22-2011

What are the issues in your life, that you need to get up and over on this fine hump day?  Do you have a plan to conquer the things that hold you back from your goals?  Today is as good a day as any to start planning your successes.  Stop saying you want better, make it so!  Don't be afraid to fail, instead look forward to success.  Life is as hard as you make it.  Complaining, without a plan to change the circumstance is wasted energy.  Take control of your situation and steer it in the direction you desire.... no one will do this for you...  Remember it's "YOUR" life... who has the biggest stake in your success???  YOU!  Happy Wednesday...Now Go Get'm!!

Tuesday 6-21-2011

Happy Tasty Tuesday people! Are you eating up life? or still looking at the menu, asking for help to make a decision?  Don't give your power of choice to other people.  You must take hold of your life and do what makes you happy.  People will disagree with you, try to hurt you and just not like you.  This is life, don't let them sway you from your desires. Time isn't on ur side.  Every moment you waste not living to your fullest, is a moment you will never get back.  Be decisive in your choices, go with your 1st thought.....Pass or Fail...  The point is, you did it your way!  This is your life...Go out there and eat it up!

Monday 6-20-2011

Happy Monday everyone!  Hopefully everyone had a good weekend.  Today is the start of a new work week for most of us, make sure you seize this awesome opportunity.  Let go of the weekend and embrace this new day and week.  Every second you waste wishing the 'past' weekend was longer, is another second lost to living today.  Cherish the past, embrace the present, and plan for the future!  When you are out and about today thank a stranger for entering your life today.... it just may make their day!  Giddy Up!

Who am I?

Self awareness is an interesting concept.  Many people much smarter than myself have varying views on this topic, the following is just an average guys opinion.

I will start with a story about a child being picked on for being slightly overweight.  I was having a conversation with a woman and she was telling me a story about her daughter being picked on.  She said "This girl was calling her daughter FAT during lunch period".  She was visibly upset with this little girl.  She called the little girl picking on her daughter, 'rude'.  I asked her, "was her daughter overweight?".  She replied "yes, but, you don't say that to someone!".










We all have said or heard the phrase, "The truth hurts".  Do you know why the 'truth' hurts?  It hurts because most people are in denial about many facets of their life; they don't understand what self awareness is all about.  When you are self aware, there's very little a person can say to you or about you, that will ever bother you.  Why is this, you may ask?  Being self aware, before the person says 'it' to you, you accept 'it' as being who you are.  In other words if you are fat, you know you are fat, you are comfortable with it or are doing something about it. If someone calls you fat, it doesn't bother you nor should it.

People tend to 'know' they are 'X', but the issue is they haven't fully accepted it. They are desperately looking for others to say, "No you're not fat, you're BIG boned", or some other compliment that isn't warranted.  We like to be lied to, because it allows us to circumvent our accountability to face and deal with the truth.  A truth, the majority of the time, we already know but don't want to accept.  This cycle of,  'head in the sand' syndrome, is taught to us at a very young age.  This notion that being direct and honest is rude, is directly responsible for so many people being incapable of accepting the realities of life.

Something someone says to you about you, should never be something you don't already know and embrace.  Thus, removing the angst people have when someone says something to them which society deems 'rude'.  We must dare to explore who we really are.  We must stop hiding from ourselves and embrace the good and bad of our being.


Spend less time judging other people.   Spend more time judging and attempting to understand yourself.  Know, embrace, and be comfortable with who you are better than anyone else can......

Being self aware makes life tremendously less stressful when dealing with others' opinions of you....Self awareness is an integral component in high self esteem..."sticks and stones..."

Until the next one....



MrP36