Friday 9-2-2011

Fantabulous Friday peeps! If I can help 1 person smile, laugh, or feel good about themselves every single day; then my purpose on this earth has been fulfilled. Everything else, is jst to pass the time...stay away from the irrelevant...Giddy Up!

Advice

Advice: Giving & Receiving....


Giving advice


We all like to share our opinions on the things going on around us. When someone asks us for advice, we tend to use our experiences and thoughts to help them. The problem with this is we tend to project our beliefs onto the situation at hand. The most important tool we need to utilize when giving advice is; ACTIVE LISTENING. Active listening is a communication technique that requires the listener to understand, interpret, and evaluate what they hear.

It's imperative to make sure you understand the situation from 'their' point of view. Quite often, people give jaded advice to the people seeking help. They project their own 'issues' into a situation requiring objective correspondence; this is a classic mistake that many people make, everyday. The biggest concern with this is the fact that the person you are helping is 'vulnerable'. A vulnerable person needs their internal thoughts strengthened. This can be a slippery slope. It's very important that you seek out what the person truly wants to do.






When giving advice, attempt to stay away from, "This is what you are supposed to do". Telling someone what they need to do does not garner ownership on their part. The person you are helping needs to own the decisions they are making. If this person doesn't own the decision, they won't have long-term success. They also won’t grow through this experience and therefore, will not be capable of handling the same situation in the future, with ease.






The moral of the story is; refrain from giving advice if you aren't good at active listening. Also refrain from giving advice if you lack the ability to offer an objective, 'in their shoes' point of view. Remember it's, 'What they want to do', not 'What you want to do'.

Receiving advice

This is a much simpler experience to understand. You also need to practice active listening. You 'know' exactly what you want to do; the question you are asking yourself is, should I do 'that' or is there a better way. This is important when receiving advice from someone. When listening to the advice someone is giving you, listen to all sides of it. You need to ascertain whether this person is projecting their personal thoughts onto your situation, or whether it's genuine and objective. This can be very difficult in an emotionally high charged situation.






If you are actively listening to the advice, you can pull out the pieces that resonate within you. This is where you begin to see what your true thoughts are. You begin to say internally and externally, "Yes you are right". The key here is whether the 'YES' is confirmation of a thought or understanding of where you need to go now. This can be tricky. What makes it easier to grasp is, knowing from the beginning if the advice you are getting is objective and from your point of view. If you are practicing active listening, you will know this almost immediately. You will know whether this person is 'saying what you want them to' or 'saying what you know to be the truth'.






The most important thing to remember when receiving advice is: Make sure it is about you and your situation at hand. Don't let people project their failures onto your situations....

Remember cr@p in = cr@p out...

Thursday 8-25-2011

always share ur knowledge & experience (informational - not directive) with those that mean something to u...it's entirely up to them whether it's beneficial...@ the very least u will give them additional tools to help them make sound decisions 4 themselves....when faced with the obstacles of life. We all wish someone told us something about a lot of the things we've faced... prior to experiencing these things. Judge less...Support more...Happy Thursday youngins!

R u on the sidelines of ur own life??? Dnt let other people play ur game 4 u...everytime u say u can't do something, is a moment lost to success. There r multi-millionaires who possess only a 5th grade education ....do u know y they made it??? They took control of their destiny...u can do whatever u want in life....if u hate ur job or anything else in ur life...plan ur way out...simply complaining wont solve anything...Happy Monday!

Wednesday 8-17-2011

<---will take "Words to live by, 4 $1000 Alex"...."What r: Support More, Judge Less©?" Remember to always be sincere in ur thoughts, words, and actions...the people who r in ur life may or may not understand or appreciate ur sincerity...that's irrelevant...the important point is, u know it to be genuine...u can only control u...Winner Wednesday is ready 4 the taking...Go Get It!

Thursday 8-11-2011

U never know when u will inspire someone to be the best they can be....by being the best u can be...so do it all the time. Being the best u can be, doesn't always translate into success....we all fail @ something, everyday...if u failed while doing ur best...there's no stress...There's no such thing as u being an innocent bystander in ur life...Thirsty Thursday is here...Enjoy!

Wednesday 8-10-2011

Welcome to Wonderful Wednesday Winners...U must always believe in urself, sometimes u r the only person that will believe in u....Ur belief is the only one that counts anyway...people r living their own lives, they rarely have time to have concern about ur shit...self-awareness & self-motivation r important keys to stress free living....Go get it peeps!

Tuesday 8-9-2011

There's something u can give to other people in abundance and still keep forever...a "SMILE"...give as much as u possibly can today...U never know when ur smile will be the straw that breaks the cycle of discontent someone is enduring...Happy Tuesday superstars!

Monday 8-8-2011

Happy Monday all! Here's ur chance, dnt blow it....Everything starts with believing in urself...no matter what life throws u...u will prevail. U may not be the best or have the best, but, u can always hold ur own...dnt let other people measure ur success, better than u can.... Giddy Up!

Friday 8-5-2011

Happy Friday youngins! Don't let anyone hold you back from your goals today....eyes on the prize! If you dnt have any goals, you have only yourself to blame....work on that. Giddy Up!

Thursday 8-4-2011

Hold urself accountable 4 the things that happen in ur life...when u believe someone is putting up a barrier in ur life path... dnt blame them 4 putting the barrier there...plan ur way around, over, under, or thru the barrier...take control of ur existence...obstacles r a part of life...they won't go away... sitting there complaining about them won't do u a bit of good...Happy Thirsty Thursday peeps, drink up life today!

Wednesday 8-3-2011

Endeavor to be better....

Monday 8-1-2011

The world judges u by the decisions u make… but they never see the options u had to choose from....always make decisions based on what is best 4 u...not by how u think people will view u....it's ur life, get to living it...Happy new DAY/WEEK!

Wednesday 7-27-2011

Don't let fear stop you......

Tuesday 7-26-2011

Happy Tuesday all! Never be intimidated by or envious of what someone else has. Some people like to talk about what they have done in life, only to make you feel less than them.  Some people like to talk about what they have acquired in their travels.  Some people like to explain why the things they have, are better than the things you have.  Whenever I’m engaged in a conversation with one of these people and they start saying; "I have this and I have that, I did this and I did that", all I hear them saying is, "I HAVE LOW SELF-ESTEEM".  I use the example of the people who say they work hard and the people who actually do work hard.  People who work hard never talk about what they do, they just do it.  The people who shout how hard they work, rarely work hard.  The moral of the story is; be about it, don't speak about it.  When you do speak about it, make sure it's informational.  It is a fact we live in a 'class' society, but that doesn't mean we have to embrace it.  Break the cycle; support more and judge less.  The great Marketing Machine would love for us to stay the way we are.  The underlying issue here is self-esteem.  Some people use your low self-esteem against you (marketing, people who want to seem better than you).  Never feel less than anyone else and remember; what they eat don't make you $h1t.....

Thursday 7-21-2011

Life is a lot like driving on the highway. If you drive too fast some people don't like it, they think you are driving too fast...if you drive the speed limit some people don't like it, they think you are driving to slow...if you drive below the speed limit some people don't like it, they think you are going to slow.  The moral of the story is, there's always someone who wont like what you are doing with, "YOUR" life.  As with your car, you are responsible and accountable for your life...live (drive) it your way! Happy Thursday peeps!

Wednesday 7-20-2011

The word of the day is: UNHAPPY... Don't waste time being in or doing something that doesn't make you happy.  If you stay in these situations, you need to blame yourself.  Once you get to the level of 'sustained' unhappiness in a situation, it's up to you to change the situation.  Waiting for the situation to change on its own is a wasted gesture.  I have never heard from or heard of a person that regrets getting themselves out of an unhappy situation.  What I have heard is, "I wish I did it sooner!".  Don't waste your life being unhappy.  The fear people have of the unknown, is very powerful.  Don't let this fear steal precious time from you.  Take control of your existence, before it is to late!  It will be tough, however, you will be better for it.  When you are asked: "Why don't you change this situation?" and your response is "What about this, what about that, it's because of this, it's because of that...etc...", these are all deflections and cop-outs.  What you should really be saying is, "Here's my plan...". Sustained success has a plan.  Sustained failure results from lack of planning.  Happy Wednesday all....

Tuesday 7-19-2011

Happy Tuesday peeps! We all know exactly what we need to do @ all times...the confusion sets in when we try & weigh what we know, with what people tell us to do or want us to do.... stop worrying about how people view u...only u, need to approve ur thoughts and actions. Make sure any advice u r getting is objective & not a projection of the ideals of the person advising u....

Wednesday 7-13-2011

Today should be the most important day of your life.  Each moment you are alive is all that you have. Don't take one moment for granted, as you travel through life.  You never know when it will be your last moment.  People often ask me how I stay so even tempered.  The answer is quite simple; I never allow any moment to be more important than the current moment of time.  People tend to dwell on the past or be obsessed with the future.  These missteps cause the present to be overlooked and add stress to the equation.  Stress is best described as focusing on something you can't control.  You can't control your past or future, you can control your present.  A wise person; learns from their past, plans their future, and use both to shape their present.  Happy Wednesday everyone!

Tuesday 7-12-2011

In life, every 1 of us is dealing with different kinds of problems. Life is about solving your own problems; not about blaming other people for them or comparing your struggles to those of people you may know... also, don't waste energy worrying about what people think about the issues you have. Worrying about how people view you, clouds your judgment....Happy Tuesday :)

Wednesday 6-29-2011

Today is all about, holding your head high.  We face opposition from people everyday.  How do you use this opposition to create a positive outcome?  It's easy to complain about the 'opposing people' in your life.  It's empowering to take that negative opposition and turn it into positive success. When faced with seemingly insurmountable barriers, we need to find ways to succeed.  Let their opposition; be your motivation, to challenge yourself to be the best you can be..... and remember even opposing forces teach us things about ourselves and the world we live in... don't dismiss the opposition wholly, because of the party from which it comes.... Always be you, yet respect the views of other people....

Tuesday 6-28-2011

Inspiration comes from many different sources.  People watch people, so live your life the way you want.  The things you do in life may inspire greatness in other people.  The things you say may also inspire greatness in other people.  Simply being 'WHO' you are may inspire people.  It's a gratifying feeling when someone is inspired by something you have done or said.  Sometimes we can't put a finger on exactly what inspires us about the people we come in contact with.  The important fact is, 'WE', were inspired.  The question may not be; who inspires you, the question may be who are you inspiring..... by simply being 'YOU'???.....  So when you feel like you need inspiration.... keep in mind there are people in your life that are inspired by you .....

Sunday 6-26-2011

People often ask me "How?".  How do I do 'this' with my life?  How do I make 'this' choice in my life.  How 'do' I????  This is a question that no one can answer, except you.  People ask this question because they don't have the 'power' within themselves to control an aspect of their life.

Depending on other people as a first step to solving issues in your life, is a recipe for failure.  If you have something happening in your life you don't like, the first step is to think about how you want to change it.  Then, you start to plan your way out of the situation.  During the planning phase it can be advantageous to seek support for this plan.  Be sure you have some sort of idea or plan before reaching out to others.  The importance of all this is simple; if you have some semblance of a plan or idea, any ideas you receive from someone else will accentuate your plan.  If you have no plan before you express your issues to another person, you may adopt their ideas as your own - this reduces your chances for success.  To have long term success you need to own your plan for change.

One major obstacle to answering the question 'How?', is being comfortable with the current situation.  Let's use a couple being together for a length of time as an example.  You have to ask yourself; "am I with them because I love them? or is it because I'm used to being with them?".  This can be a very tough question to answer.  A simple way to answer is, ask yourself "can I see myself without them?".  This example can be used for any aspect of your life.  Ask yourself "Do you really need 'IT' or are you just used to 'IT'?.  You need to get that answered before moving forward.  If not, you won't be able to answer "How do I?".

When something is bothering you in your life, always own the responsibility of resolution.  Even if you ask for help, make sure it's objective advice you're getting.  Also, don't get bogged down with trying to predict all the possible results of your actions.  This can sometimes get you stuck in the quicksand of non movement on the issue.  Remember, there's 'something' you want changed in your life; if you don't change it, you will stress about the 'something' continuously.

If you struggle with change, you must embrace planning as a way to get around your struggle with change...  You will then be able to answer or start the answering process on your own...


















until the next one...




MrP36

Saturday 6-25-2011

Happy Saturday peeps!  If u r living ur life as someone expects u to and that someone is not u... u aren't living.  Always do what u want, when u want, and/or how u want.  People will always question/judge ur actions....remember it's ur life....when the time comes u WILL die alone...and so will the detractors in ur life...  Every move u make in life should be exactly what u want...regardless of the result... Fail or Succeed on ur own terms... Stop giving ur power of 'choice' away to other people.

Friday 6-24-2011

As you go about your travels this Fabulous Friday, make sure you smile at all you encounter.  Say hi to these people you come in contact with.  Say hi by name if you know their name.  Remember the sweetest sound to anyone is their own name.  Be genuine in this endeavor today.  You just may make someone's day! That someone may only be you, but, so what.  Happy Friday all!

Thursday 6-23-2011

In life we all face challenges on a daily basis.  You should always challenge yourself more than anyone or anything can challenge you.  This helps reduce stress in your life.  Stress is derived from worrying about things you can't control and not controlling the things you can.  Take a moment today, to write down some things that are stressing you out.  Then put them in 2 categories, 'What I can' or 'What I can't'.  The items in, 'What I can't', cross them out.  These items are irrelevant in your life, because, you CAN'T control them.  The items in, 'What I can', now need plans associated with them.  These can be a written plans, for long term issues that require long term planning.  These can also be mental notes; to start handling easy issues you know, you need to.  It's always easier to think about other people's issues, than to deal with your own.  Control the things you can, forget the rest.  When you challenge yourself more than other people challenge you, life is a breeze.....

Wednesday 6-22-2011

What are the issues in your life, that you need to get up and over on this fine hump day?  Do you have a plan to conquer the things that hold you back from your goals?  Today is as good a day as any to start planning your successes.  Stop saying you want better, make it so!  Don't be afraid to fail, instead look forward to success.  Life is as hard as you make it.  Complaining, without a plan to change the circumstance is wasted energy.  Take control of your situation and steer it in the direction you desire.... no one will do this for you...  Remember it's "YOUR" life... who has the biggest stake in your success???  YOU!  Happy Wednesday...Now Go Get'm!!

Tuesday 6-21-2011

Happy Tasty Tuesday people! Are you eating up life? or still looking at the menu, asking for help to make a decision?  Don't give your power of choice to other people.  You must take hold of your life and do what makes you happy.  People will disagree with you, try to hurt you and just not like you.  This is life, don't let them sway you from your desires. Time isn't on ur side.  Every moment you waste not living to your fullest, is a moment you will never get back.  Be decisive in your choices, go with your 1st thought.....Pass or Fail...  The point is, you did it your way!  This is your life...Go out there and eat it up!

Monday 6-20-2011

Happy Monday everyone!  Hopefully everyone had a good weekend.  Today is the start of a new work week for most of us, make sure you seize this awesome opportunity.  Let go of the weekend and embrace this new day and week.  Every second you waste wishing the 'past' weekend was longer, is another second lost to living today.  Cherish the past, embrace the present, and plan for the future!  When you are out and about today thank a stranger for entering your life today.... it just may make their day!  Giddy Up!

Who am I?

Self awareness is an interesting concept.  Many people much smarter than myself have varying views on this topic, the following is just an average guys opinion.

I will start with a story about a child being picked on for being slightly overweight.  I was having a conversation with a woman and she was telling me a story about her daughter being picked on.  She said "This girl was calling her daughter FAT during lunch period".  She was visibly upset with this little girl.  She called the little girl picking on her daughter, 'rude'.  I asked her, "was her daughter overweight?".  She replied "yes, but, you don't say that to someone!".










We all have said or heard the phrase, "The truth hurts".  Do you know why the 'truth' hurts?  It hurts because most people are in denial about many facets of their life; they don't understand what self awareness is all about.  When you are self aware, there's very little a person can say to you or about you, that will ever bother you.  Why is this, you may ask?  Being self aware, before the person says 'it' to you, you accept 'it' as being who you are.  In other words if you are fat, you know you are fat, you are comfortable with it or are doing something about it. If someone calls you fat, it doesn't bother you nor should it.

People tend to 'know' they are 'X', but the issue is they haven't fully accepted it. They are desperately looking for others to say, "No you're not fat, you're BIG boned", or some other compliment that isn't warranted.  We like to be lied to, because it allows us to circumvent our accountability to face and deal with the truth.  A truth, the majority of the time, we already know but don't want to accept.  This cycle of,  'head in the sand' syndrome, is taught to us at a very young age.  This notion that being direct and honest is rude, is directly responsible for so many people being incapable of accepting the realities of life.

Something someone says to you about you, should never be something you don't already know and embrace.  Thus, removing the angst people have when someone says something to them which society deems 'rude'.  We must dare to explore who we really are.  We must stop hiding from ourselves and embrace the good and bad of our being.


Spend less time judging other people.   Spend more time judging and attempting to understand yourself.  Know, embrace, and be comfortable with who you are better than anyone else can......

Being self aware makes life tremendously less stressful when dealing with others' opinions of you....Self awareness is an integral component in high self esteem..."sticks and stones..."

Until the next one....



MrP36

So we used to be together right?

In our world people are faced with the reality that relationships fail more than we would hope for.  What people don't get is that it takes two people to cause a relationship to end.  This is a very important point to understand.

When talking to many people about their relationships past, present, and potential future, there's a common theme; that theme is generally one of two things, "It's all their fault" or "I've tried my best".  The real fact is it takes two people to make a relationship sustain or fail.  The hardest thing for anyone to do is to openly admit their culpability in a failed venture.  No one wants to be a failure, this is ingrained in all of us - from the most confident, to the least confident person.

The importance of understanding past relationships and your part in it, is to help future relationships flourish.  Relationships end; that is a fact of life, whether you like it or not.  If you are blind to your accountability for the troubles in past relationships, you will continue to fail.  Sometimes the biggest error you may have made in a past relationship is 'overlooking' that ah-ha moment where you questioned, is this person for you.  People underestimate this moment and its importance to all actions following this point.  What happens quite often after this moment is people begin to 'hide' their feelings they now have about this person.  They start to have doubts and in some cases contempt for this person.  The error isn't the feelings, the error is in suppressing these feelings.  The fact is you can't suppress this, it will manifest itself in many actions going forward in the relationship.



We are always told "He/She is a good person", "Don't let this one thing change your mind about them".  The problem is once you have that feeling, it's just a matter of time before the relationship will end.  It may take many years or a few moments, the fact is that it will end; we don't ever get over these feelings.  We attempt to rationalize and/or put out of our minds these feelings.  These are all important points to think about  because they will help you when entering new relationships.


The biggest thing to understand is we must not look for flaws in the people we engage in relationships with.  However, we must recognize when we have that negative ah-ha moment and make the proper decision going forward.


So that we are clear, we aren't talking about the everyday things our partners do that we may or may not like.  We are talking about that 'SPECIAL' situation when something rocks your core negatively, that they did or said....Look back on your past relationships and you all will know what I'm talking about.....

Until the next one....


MrP36

Do you understand me?

During our busy days we come across those who would seem to not understand us.  Is this because these people can care less about our feelings, thoughts, or ideas? Is it because we are expressing our being in a way that isn't easily interpreted?  It may be these or many other reasons, which aren't easily discerned.

The real fact of the matter is; most people you come in contact with, can care less.  This, in most cast cases, doesn't carry a negative connotation, it simply means they have enough issues within their own being, and have no time to worry about your stuff.  This is unfortunately the reality with which we live.  Understanding this helps reduce or eliminate the time you spend angry when someone shows disdain toward you. If you really think about it, why should your point be more important to them than their point?

When you are communicating to another person, are you still open to all views?  This doesn't mean you need to agree with the views; being open to all views of the subject of conversation allows you to be objective.  The point here is, if you are objective you will handle opposition with less angst.  When engaged in debate, to be sympathetic to another person's feelings, thoughts, or ideas, doesn't give your power away.  This is something we all struggle with, 'Do you understand me?'.  We ask each other that everyday.  We are so busy attempting to get our point across, we blow right by the other person's point.

We make communicating very complicated and hard.  This is because we can't hear with our mouths opened; we are waiting for the other person to be quiet so that we can say what we want to say.  In a lot of cases we don't even wait, we interrupt without malice or forethought. This makes it difficult for your point to be interpreted properly.  People are continually engaged in conversation where neither are "actively" listening to the other.  The 'My point of view' gets in the way of the sharing process.  You then immediately go to the 'Do you understand me?' phase of your thought process.







To get your question 'Do you understand me?' answered, you need to understand the person you are directing your question toward.  The interesting point here is; once you understand this person, you will realize you don't need to ask the question to begin with.  If you seek understanding of the person you are in conflict with, it will give you the tools necessary to effectively present your case to them.



You can communicate the same point many ways to many audiences..... Don't get stuck communicating only one way... eventually no one will understand you

Until the next time....

Mrp36

Scary....

http://www.tax.com/taxcom/taxblog.nsf/Permalink/UBEN-8AGMUZ?OpenDocument

Hello Mr. or Madam President

Today's discussion will revolve around politics and what most people don't get.


I hear all to often, "The President is this or the President is that","The President did this or the President did that".  I find all this conversation amusing as it shows our ignorance as a society.  People really don't get it, even though they have been taught it.  Now I won't go into whether the current President is doing a good job or not, as I believe none of us know what that means either.

The President of the United States is merely a figure head or spokesperson for this country.  If you have trouble agreeing with me, break out the American Government books and read up on how the branches of government in the US work.  Now this is an important role in our government, so don't misunderstand me as I am over-simplifying to get a point across, as you will see later.  If you can come up with a better description based on the facts of the books on how our government works and the practical workings of our government as we have seen it, I would like to hear it.  Quite frankly, I'm a little tired of listening to people who have no idea what is going on, actually speak on this subject.


The President has some special powers in special times, this is understood.  Where people get off the reservation is when they think the President will change the country for the better. They also speak about the President making it worse.  Both of those points are myths that the people who really run this country want you to think.  It's all smoke and mirrors and we are easily led down the wrong path in this country.  When it comes to everyday living in this country, the people that run this country are located in your local town governments, your county governments, your state governments, and The House of Reps and Senate.  If you believe anything else you are greatly misinformed.  All of these people want you to believe that the 'President' is your Saviour or the goat.  Again if you don't agree, I strongly suggest you grab a book on American Government.

We are just cattle being herded to the slaughter.  I hear people talking bad and good about our current President everyday, just like every President before him since I could watch TV, or understand the spoken word.  Ironically enough, who I don't hear complaining or giving adulation are people that get it. People who go to town meetings, vote on local and national issues.  These people get it; that the person in the Presidential Oval Office is just a member of the entire process and can't change anything on her/his own.  I will give you a short example of how our government works and then ask who's in charge.  Congress formulates a bill, the bill is passed in the Senate and the House.  This bill now goes to the President for signing into law.  The President doesn't agree and Veto's the bill.  The bill can now go back to Congress and Congress can override the President. Now this is rarely done, but, the point is it can be.  The flip side is that the President can't get anything into law without Congress.  So I ask again, whom do we think is in charge? This goes back too my earlier point about who really runs the everyday things which truly affect us.  It's your local government, state government, and Congress.  So if you want the 'President' too be successful, these people need to answer to you along with the President, not the other way around.

The President of the United States of America is a powerful person, but believe it or not, there's a more powerful group of people.  These people are skating by as we as Americans fight or support our sitting Presidents.  We are quick to judge and hold a person accountable who has a stake in our lives, but, not the biggest stake.  We give this group of people a pass on a daily basis, then we wonder what is wrong with this country.  We are ignorant to how our own government works.  The sad part about this is, that's what these people want.  They want us to turn a blind eye, cause they know in our minds it's much easier to go after one person than to attack the thousands of them who are truly ruining our country.



Before you open your mouth about any President, think about what I said....Attack the right people...not those who you have been conditioned to attack all your life....

Remember the President can't get something into law without Congress....stop giving these people a pass...Hold your local government, state government, and Congress accountable.



Sincerely,


Mr. P36